What a lazy day. No tests for which to study, no projects to prepare… I woke up earlier than I should have because the noise from the poor ROTC cadets outside was deafening. I went to breakfast at 0700, davened, and then chilled the rest of the day. I watched some movies, did some cleaning and laundry, packed for out two-day camping trip this week (more on that later) and basically took a guilt-ridden day off – guilt-ridden because I know how much work my wonderful wife is doing back at home getting us ready to move when I come back.
I am beginning to count the minutes – I’ll be home for Shabbos, and I can’t wait…
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day 27
Interesting Shabbos. The flight all went out to the Officers’ Club for an “orientation” of the customs and courtesies that apply to the club. That took 5 minutes, and then the drinking began. I toyed with the idea of walking over there at about 2000 after I davened and ate, but I decided that I had maintained a pretty nice Shabbos atmosphere for the last four weeks – why ruin it now? Turns out I didn’t miss much – and I had someone fill me in on the customs.
First of all, no pointing at the O Club. You point with your elbow. If you point with your finger, you buy the next round. Every officer must always have an RMO in their pocket. An RMO is a Round Metal Object, specifically a commemorative coin that are issued by units, bases, missions, etc. When sitting at the bar someone may take out their RMO and slap it down on the bar. That is the challenge. Everyone has to produce their RMO and whoever doesn’t have one buys the next round. Oh, by the way, if everyone DOES have one, the challenger has to buy the next round.
Enough of that. I got about nine hours of sleep, woke up at 0600, davened Shacharis, made Kiddush in my room, went to breakfast at 0700, and at 0815 I had my Bible Study – it was me, my roommate, the Conservative kid and a Baptist Chaplain Candidate – we had an AWESOME class! It went until 1000, at which time I had to attend a meeting about my role in the upcoming field training. I went back to my room at 1100, read had lunch, and took a three hour nap (!), read some more and at 1900 we went up to our flight room for our Flight Dinner. Major Haigh was there with his wife, and he had written on the board in large letters, “Rules of Engagement: No ‘Sirs’ or ‘Ma’am’” – he was dressed in jeans and we had to call him by his call sign, “Mooch” (he likes free stuff). I named his wife “Moochessa.” They had Dominos Pizza – I had Matza and tuna and granola bars… They introduced us to a role-playing game called “Mafia.” We wrapped up at 2145, and I asked if anyone wanted to introduce me to the O Club. About nine of us decided to walk over there. First of all, it took 30 minutes to walk over there. Second of all, it was 80 degrees and about 110% humidity. Third of all, the club closed at 2200. Fourth of all, it took 30 minutes to walk back as well. I was DRENCHED in sweat!
Took a shower, and realized that I had about ten movies on my computer about which I had completely forgotten. So I stayed up to about 0200 watching “Sweeny Todd.” That was my Melava Malka!
First of all, no pointing at the O Club. You point with your elbow. If you point with your finger, you buy the next round. Every officer must always have an RMO in their pocket. An RMO is a Round Metal Object, specifically a commemorative coin that are issued by units, bases, missions, etc. When sitting at the bar someone may take out their RMO and slap it down on the bar. That is the challenge. Everyone has to produce their RMO and whoever doesn’t have one buys the next round. Oh, by the way, if everyone DOES have one, the challenger has to buy the next round.
Enough of that. I got about nine hours of sleep, woke up at 0600, davened Shacharis, made Kiddush in my room, went to breakfast at 0700, and at 0815 I had my Bible Study – it was me, my roommate, the Conservative kid and a Baptist Chaplain Candidate – we had an AWESOME class! It went until 1000, at which time I had to attend a meeting about my role in the upcoming field training. I went back to my room at 1100, read had lunch, and took a three hour nap (!), read some more and at 1900 we went up to our flight room for our Flight Dinner. Major Haigh was there with his wife, and he had written on the board in large letters, “Rules of Engagement: No ‘Sirs’ or ‘Ma’am’” – he was dressed in jeans and we had to call him by his call sign, “Mooch” (he likes free stuff). I named his wife “Moochessa.” They had Dominos Pizza – I had Matza and tuna and granola bars… They introduced us to a role-playing game called “Mafia.” We wrapped up at 2145, and I asked if anyone wanted to introduce me to the O Club. About nine of us decided to walk over there. First of all, it took 30 minutes to walk over there. Second of all, it was 80 degrees and about 110% humidity. Third of all, the club closed at 2200. Fourth of all, it took 30 minutes to walk back as well. I was DRENCHED in sweat!
Took a shower, and realized that I had about ten movies on my computer about which I had completely forgotten. So I stayed up to about 0200 watching “Sweeny Todd.” That was my Melava Malka!
Day 26
Today was a completely wasted day. We could have cut the program short by a day and I would have been home with my beloved family a day earlier.
We parade drilled from 0600 to 0700, had breakfast, and then did basically nothing until 1700. Literally. We had a class on the importance of computer security and how “loose lips sink ships” yadda yadda yadda… And then nothing.
Our flight won athletic flight again – that is three weeks in a row. And our squadron won Squadron of the Week – that is two weeks in a row. That is the most exciting thing I can tell you.
Tonight is Officers’ Club Orientation. That means that the entire class will go to the club at 1900, hear a 45 minute briefing from the commander on the customs of drinking at the O Club, and when he’s done the drinking will commence. I explained that I couldn’t make it, as Shabbos begins at 1938, and I was excused. I offered to walk there (a 20 minute walk) to be with my flight members (and if someone had a pitcher of beer… well, couldn’t hurt!) – and then I realized what a terrible way to spend a Shabbos night. So I am stying home tonight – I’ll learn a little, and then get some sorely needed sleep.
Good Shabbos
We parade drilled from 0600 to 0700, had breakfast, and then did basically nothing until 1700. Literally. We had a class on the importance of computer security and how “loose lips sink ships” yadda yadda yadda… And then nothing.
Our flight won athletic flight again – that is three weeks in a row. And our squadron won Squadron of the Week – that is two weeks in a row. That is the most exciting thing I can tell you.
Tonight is Officers’ Club Orientation. That means that the entire class will go to the club at 1900, hear a 45 minute briefing from the commander on the customs of drinking at the O Club, and when he’s done the drinking will commence. I explained that I couldn’t make it, as Shabbos begins at 1938, and I was excused. I offered to walk there (a 20 minute walk) to be with my flight members (and if someone had a pitcher of beer… well, couldn’t hurt!) – and then I realized what a terrible way to spend a Shabbos night. So I am stying home tonight – I’ll learn a little, and then get some sorely needed sleep.
Good Shabbos
Friday, June 25, 2010
Day 24
Welcome to Camp COT!
Yesterday was the last REAL day of academics (we had to deliver our brief), and now it’s like Camp COT has begun. Basically, the rest of our stay here will be spent doing more “fun” activities (and Parade – more on that in minute), so let the FUN BEGIN!
We had a late wake up (0530) and we met in our flight room for a boxed breakfast. They wouldn’t give me a box, insisting that I have a kosher MRE (which was Beef Stew, or something). I planned ahead, bringing a South Beach bar, granola bars, small boxes of cereal – and coffee. MMmmm.
At 0700 we marched out to the parade field and were briefed about parade. As you have seen in numerous movies, the graduation concludes with a formal “parade.” The entire class (289) is formed up into squadrons of 45+. We are to march onto the field to a brass band, where we go through all the pomp and circumstances – flags, salutes, precision marching and turns, etc. They asked for volunteers for column leaders (those who stand in front of their line of troops – four columns per squadron) and of course, I shot my hand up. I want to SEE the action! I want to be in the front, not just another faceless airmen among a sea of airmen (how was THAT for a mixed metaphor!). We drilled for three hours – my back was killing me, but I loved it. It was just so cool – it was like every military movie I ever saw.
We got back to our flight room for a “class” on PCS (permanent change of station) – no one really cared as it will not be tested… We ate at 1100, and then marched a mile out to the Project X facility for the LRC (leadership reaction course – see yesterday’s post). And example of an LRC course is the one I lead, in which there was a large pool of water (60’ x 40’) with concrete pillars throughout. When we get there, we are told that it is a blown out bridge that we need to traverse, and all we have are three planks (two 8’ and one 5’). We have 20 minutes to formulate and execute a plan to get all six team members across the “river”. There are all sorts of penalties, like if anything drops in the water or touching the “banks” – for any penalty, everyone has to stop for 60 seconds. We are graded on delegation, execution… general leadership. While we failed the mission, I received very high scores for leadership (which is the primary goal) – but it would have been nice to win. On another one I was on, we did win, which felt awesome. We did this until 1730, and then marched back for dinner (in our sweaty gross clothes!).
I slept well.
Yesterday was the last REAL day of academics (we had to deliver our brief), and now it’s like Camp COT has begun. Basically, the rest of our stay here will be spent doing more “fun” activities (and Parade – more on that in minute), so let the FUN BEGIN!
We had a late wake up (0530) and we met in our flight room for a boxed breakfast. They wouldn’t give me a box, insisting that I have a kosher MRE (which was Beef Stew, or something). I planned ahead, bringing a South Beach bar, granola bars, small boxes of cereal – and coffee. MMmmm.
At 0700 we marched out to the parade field and were briefed about parade. As you have seen in numerous movies, the graduation concludes with a formal “parade.” The entire class (289) is formed up into squadrons of 45+. We are to march onto the field to a brass band, where we go through all the pomp and circumstances – flags, salutes, precision marching and turns, etc. They asked for volunteers for column leaders (those who stand in front of their line of troops – four columns per squadron) and of course, I shot my hand up. I want to SEE the action! I want to be in the front, not just another faceless airmen among a sea of airmen (how was THAT for a mixed metaphor!). We drilled for three hours – my back was killing me, but I loved it. It was just so cool – it was like every military movie I ever saw.
We got back to our flight room for a “class” on PCS (permanent change of station) – no one really cared as it will not be tested… We ate at 1100, and then marched a mile out to the Project X facility for the LRC (leadership reaction course – see yesterday’s post). And example of an LRC course is the one I lead, in which there was a large pool of water (60’ x 40’) with concrete pillars throughout. When we get there, we are told that it is a blown out bridge that we need to traverse, and all we have are three planks (two 8’ and one 5’). We have 20 minutes to formulate and execute a plan to get all six team members across the “river”. There are all sorts of penalties, like if anything drops in the water or touching the “banks” – for any penalty, everyone has to stop for 60 seconds. We are graded on delegation, execution… general leadership. While we failed the mission, I received very high scores for leadership (which is the primary goal) – but it would have been nice to win. On another one I was on, we did win, which felt awesome. We did this until 1730, and then marched back for dinner (in our sweaty gross clothes!).
I slept well.
Day 23
This morning I attended my first, and last, Physical Training here at COT. As you may recall, I got hurt over the first weekend, and they started PT the second week. The third week I was still on profile for Monday and Tuesday, and the rest of the week there was no PT. Monday was the 5K, and today was the last PT. So I can say I got at least one in!!
After breakfast we had to present our briefing. It was an informative briefing, not persuasive. My topic was “Water and the Arab/Israel Conflict.” The rules were it had to be between 5 to 9 minutes. Less or more was an instant fail. A single word that was persuasive, like “I think…” was an instant fail. There is a video screen in the back of the room as well as the front, so you had a “crutch” – but if you used it more than just in passing, you were dinged for that.
I was the last one to present. For reasons that none of us can understand, 70% of the class busted on time. THERE IS A LARGE CLOCK IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM, PEOPLE!!! In any event, I did my brief, and as I was doing it I realized that the slides were too busy for the Air Force – they want no more than seven bullets, with no more than seven words per bullet. In addition, I ended the brief by saying, “This concludes my brief. Are there any question?” The Flt/CC asked “Did you say ‘Brief’ or ‘Briefing’?” DOH!! I said Brief instead of briefing, which is an automatic point deduction. Bottom line: between the busy slides and the wrong ending, I ended up with a “High Sat” (high satisfactory) insetad of an “Excellent.”
Afterwards, we put on our Mess Dress (that is the suit jacket with the silver bars on the shoulders and all the other “Bling”) for our class picture – I haven’t had a class picture since 8th Grade (that was in 1976, for those keeping count). Next, we went back to our flight room to get a briefing on the LRC (Leadership Reaction Course). You may recall me complaining about the fact that when I was on medical profile, the class did something called Project X that I had to observe rather than participate in. The LRC is held on the same course, but there is a designated leader and his leadership skills are evaluated by staff. We will be doing this over two days, completeing a total of 16 courses. I can’t wait!
The day was capped off with three of the most boring hours of non-graded classes EVER. It was torture. After dinner, there was a meeting of all the chaplains and chaplain candidates who wanted to know more about Judaism and the sensitivities they need to have in dealing with Jewish airmen. It was great. I invited them all to my last Bible Study (to be held on Saturday at 0815) and they asked if it could be followed by another such informative meeting. I was honored.
After breakfast we had to present our briefing. It was an informative briefing, not persuasive. My topic was “Water and the Arab/Israel Conflict.” The rules were it had to be between 5 to 9 minutes. Less or more was an instant fail. A single word that was persuasive, like “I think…” was an instant fail. There is a video screen in the back of the room as well as the front, so you had a “crutch” – but if you used it more than just in passing, you were dinged for that.
I was the last one to present. For reasons that none of us can understand, 70% of the class busted on time. THERE IS A LARGE CLOCK IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM, PEOPLE!!! In any event, I did my brief, and as I was doing it I realized that the slides were too busy for the Air Force – they want no more than seven bullets, with no more than seven words per bullet. In addition, I ended the brief by saying, “This concludes my brief. Are there any question?” The Flt/CC asked “Did you say ‘Brief’ or ‘Briefing’?” DOH!! I said Brief instead of briefing, which is an automatic point deduction. Bottom line: between the busy slides and the wrong ending, I ended up with a “High Sat” (high satisfactory) insetad of an “Excellent.”
Afterwards, we put on our Mess Dress (that is the suit jacket with the silver bars on the shoulders and all the other “Bling”) for our class picture – I haven’t had a class picture since 8th Grade (that was in 1976, for those keeping count). Next, we went back to our flight room to get a briefing on the LRC (Leadership Reaction Course). You may recall me complaining about the fact that when I was on medical profile, the class did something called Project X that I had to observe rather than participate in. The LRC is held on the same course, but there is a designated leader and his leadership skills are evaluated by staff. We will be doing this over two days, completeing a total of 16 courses. I can’t wait!
The day was capped off with three of the most boring hours of non-graded classes EVER. It was torture. After dinner, there was a meeting of all the chaplains and chaplain candidates who wanted to know more about Judaism and the sensitivities they need to have in dealing with Jewish airmen. It was great. I invited them all to my last Bible Study (to be held on Saturday at 0815) and they asked if it could be followed by another such informative meeting. I was honored.
Day 20
Another wonderful Shabbos. First of all, wearing by “Big Boy Clothes” made me feel much more in the “spirit of the day.” I went to breakfast and then had a nice, long Shacharis – I sang Hallel, read the Torah and Haftorah out loud… It just felt wonderful. I took a short nap in the morning, and spent most of the day studying. We received 3rd Class status this weekend, which means that we can not only whisper to each other during meals, but on weekends we can go off campus on to the base itself. My whole class decided to go out to dinner at a base club a) because they could, and b) because it was one of our flight members’ birthday. Not only could I not go, but I had planned my second “Old Testatment Bible Study” for 1700. Besides the ROTC kid (who, coincidentally, had off then for services), two Baptist chaplain candidates joined me for a discussion of Korach. It was great! They love it! They suggested that next week we do it after breakfast to avoid all the conflicts; many people told me during the week that they were coming, but then went out to dinner – since breakfast is mandatory, everyone will be around for an 0815 Bible Study. We’ll see how it goes.
Now we have TV priviliges in the Common Area of our dorm. After Shabbos, someone decided to put in “Year One” and we all sat around to watch. Stupidest movie since the dawn of man. But it felt normal watching a movie on a Saturday night…
Now we have TV priviliges in the Common Area of our dorm. After Shabbos, someone decided to put in “Year One” and we all sat around to watch. Stupidest movie since the dawn of man. But it felt normal watching a movie on a Saturday night…
Day 19
This morning was the PFA (Physical Fitness Assessment) – this is the one that counts. I woke up at 0415 to give myself extra time to stretch. We got out on the track, did a few more warm-ups, and partnered up with the same guy from Quebec Flight that I was with the first week. He did his push ups first and then it was my turn. My left arm has been hurting me for a while, but I am not reporting it because I DO NOT want to be put on a medical profile again. I was worried how I would do; last test, I did 35 push ups and 35 sit ups. I had come to COT doing about 50 sit ups and 40 push ups, and during my “down” week, when I couldn’t go out with the flight for PT, I was back up to 45 sit ups and about 40 push ups. Well, it was my turn and pushed out 42 push ups… better than last test, and given my arm pain, I was satisfied. Then I had to hold his legs for his situps, which took some energy. I mention that because when it was my turn to do my sit ups, I couldn’t push out more than 32! What was wrong with me?? It had to be the strain of the push ups and the effort to hold him down… My hope was doing better on the run (which counts the most, anyway). I started off at a comfortable pace, with everyone pretty much passing me. I was working harder than the last test, but confident I could pull it off. By the mid point (3/4 mile), I realized I was on pace to do much better than ever before. I began passing people, thinking of them as cars on the highway. As I turned the corner for the last stretch, I pushed out with all I had and crossed the line at 12:28, a full minute faster than the PFB I did the first week, and a minute and a half better than the test I took in March. I was thrilled! While I wasn’t close to guys like my roommate, who did it in between 9 and 9.5 minutes, I’m almost 47 and never ran a day in my life before last June – it felt awesome. I better keep up the rush, because on Monday we have a mandatory 5K…!
The rest of the day was great. Today was our first day in our Blues. YEAH! Big Boy clothes! A real shirt and pants and shoes – okay, so the hat makes me look like an ice cream truck guy… but it was SO much better than the ABUs or the AWFUL PT shorts! We looked sharp!
We had a role-playing class on counseling, in which we joined with our arch-nemesis Quebec Flight and acted out scenarios and critiqued the performances. After lunch we had another joint class, this time on mentoring. We then had a few hours of study time (our last graded written test is on Monday), followed by Flight Hall Call (Flight-level pep rally) in which our flight was awarded Best Athletics for the second week in a row and I was awarded Best Contributor to the Flight (voted on by the flight). That was followed by Class Hall Call (the whole class has a pep rally) in which our sqaudron was awarded Acdemic Squadron of the week and then Honor Flight (the highest award for the week a sqaudron can receive).
I got back after dinner to my room to prepare for Shabbos and then picked up the Jewish ROTC kid and headed to the RAC. I received a package of Meal Mart Gefillte Fish in one of my MREs (it was Pesach), so I saved it for Shabbos. When I was on chow line for dinner, I grabbed a few packets of cocktail sauce and picante sauce to help out with the fish – it was actually very good! We had a beautiful Kabbalas Shabbos with the two of us singing and clapping – as nice as it was for me, I know that for him – he is in a brutal, dehumanizing program – it was a spiritual oasis. I really felt like I was doing my job.
The rest of the day was great. Today was our first day in our Blues. YEAH! Big Boy clothes! A real shirt and pants and shoes – okay, so the hat makes me look like an ice cream truck guy… but it was SO much better than the ABUs or the AWFUL PT shorts! We looked sharp!
We had a role-playing class on counseling, in which we joined with our arch-nemesis Quebec Flight and acted out scenarios and critiqued the performances. After lunch we had another joint class, this time on mentoring. We then had a few hours of study time (our last graded written test is on Monday), followed by Flight Hall Call (Flight-level pep rally) in which our flight was awarded Best Athletics for the second week in a row and I was awarded Best Contributor to the Flight (voted on by the flight). That was followed by Class Hall Call (the whole class has a pep rally) in which our sqaudron was awarded Acdemic Squadron of the week and then Honor Flight (the highest award for the week a sqaudron can receive).
I got back after dinner to my room to prepare for Shabbos and then picked up the Jewish ROTC kid and headed to the RAC. I received a package of Meal Mart Gefillte Fish in one of my MREs (it was Pesach), so I saved it for Shabbos. When I was on chow line for dinner, I grabbed a few packets of cocktail sauce and picante sauce to help out with the fish – it was actually very good! We had a beautiful Kabbalas Shabbos with the two of us singing and clapping – as nice as it was for me, I know that for him – he is in a brutal, dehumanizing program – it was a spiritual oasis. I really felt like I was doing my job.
Day 18
Boring, boring, boring, boring…
The day started off with a “sleep-in” morning – we woke up at 0450 instead of 0430. No PT today; instead, it was the official weight and height check for tomorrow’s PFA (Physical Fitness Assessment). This is the one that counts. Good news! I lost two inches off my waist (from 36” to 34” – even though I don’t think I was really 36” when I got here three weeks ago - it was just Shabbos bloat) and I lost 5.5 pounds (now, 179.5).
After that we changed into our uniforms and went to breakfast followed by the MOST BORING DAY EVER. Nine hours fo class, seven of which were held in the Boyd Auditorium (as opposed to our classroom with out Flt/CC where it is interactive). There are many names for the Auditorium: Bored Auditorium, the Big Red Bedroom (all trhe chairs are upholstered red)… you get the idea. And the lectures were about the most boring topics possible: how to properly supervise subordinates, how to write assessments, how promotions take place… AAARRGGGHHH!
Tomorrow should be interesting – first of all, it is the first time that the Uniform of the Day is our Blues (the sharp uniform you see in the movies: blue pants, short sleeve blue shirt open at the neck (no tie), shoulder boards, flight cap, and HIGHLY poliched shoes. It will be nice to be out of the heavy ABUs considering it is in the upper 90s and humid every day. Secondly, I have the PFA test, wherein we will see how much better I can do from my first test. I am determined to impress my flight.
I scheduled a “Bible Study” for Saturday afternoon before dinner. Last week I did it, but word had not gotten out; now, all the Chaplains and Chaplain Candidates got the word, and it should be interesting!
After that we changed into our uniforms and went to breakfast followed by the MOST BORING DAY EVER. Nine hours fo class, seven of which were held in the Boyd Auditorium (as opposed to our classroom with out Flt/CC where it is interactive). There are many names for the Auditorium: Bored Auditorium, the Big Red Bedroom (all trhe chairs are upholstered red)… you get the idea. And the lectures were about the most boring topics possible: how to properly supervise subordinates, how to write assessments, how promotions take place… AAARRGGGHHH!
Tomorrow should be interesting – first of all, it is the first time that the Uniform of the Day is our Blues (the sharp uniform you see in the movies: blue pants, short sleeve blue shirt open at the neck (no tie), shoulder boards, flight cap, and HIGHLY poliched shoes. It will be nice to be out of the heavy ABUs considering it is in the upper 90s and humid every day. Secondly, I have the PFA test, wherein we will see how much better I can do from my first test. I am determined to impress my flight.
I scheduled a “Bible Study” for Saturday afternoon before dinner. Last week I did it, but word had not gotten out; now, all the Chaplains and Chaplain Candidates got the word, and it should be interesting!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day Seventeen
WHAT AN AMAZING MORNING!! Today was WELPS (NO idea what that stands for…), the first military activity in which I have been able to participate.
We woke up at 0430 and formed up downstairs by 0450. We marched to our Flight Room (where our flight has all of our classes – it’s our “safe place”) for a breakfast of MREs. I took the opportunity to daven quickly – may have been a bit early, but it was the only time before Chatzos… I then had a delicious breakfast of Cheese Tortellini and Pinto Beans along with a cup of coffee. As is usually the case in the military, we rushed downstairs at 0530… just to form up and wait for 30 minutes for the buses to arrive.
We got the WELPS field, and after forming up again, we fell out to find our Flt/CC. WELPS is a leadership exercise wherein 6-8 people participate (one assigned as leader, one as asst leader, and the rest are the team), there is a timekeeper, three observers (who are taking notes on how the leader, the asst leader, and the team all operate) and safeties, whose job it is to watch for heat exhaustion and penalties. I was a participant in the first one. Using compasses we had to navigate to four check points. Each coordinate sheet had two possible coordinates, depending on how you answered a question on something we studied – get the answer right, and you were heading in the right direction (assuming you could read your compass). Get it wrong, and you were up a creek. At each successfully acquired checkpoint we were given the coordinates for the next one. Our mission was to get to the fourth checkpoint and spell out FH 11 for the incoming helicopter to find us. We were given 6 2x4s and 4 cinder blocks. Oh – and we were told that between stops 2 and 3, there would be enemy snipers and patrols, so we had to stay down. Did I forget to mention that we could step on a mine and lose our legs? All of these, of course, were simulated by the Flt/CC suddenly yelling, “BAAM! Mortar! You, you and you are incapacitated!” or “Sniper Fire! You were just hit in the leg and can’t use your left foot!”
It was amazing – shooting an azimuth with the compass, crawling through the grass to the check points… unfortunately, we didn’t fulfill the mission.
For the second one, I was an observer. My job was to watch the team’s interactions, and report during the debriefing. The team successfully negotiated that mission, carrying a garbage can of “special liquid” through the check points, and then finding a bomb and placing it carefully in to the liquid in a manner that it would not touch the sides of the garbage can, and then get it to the final check point. Well done.
I participated in the third one as well (clearly, the Major was making up for the fact that I hadn’t participated in either of the two previous outdoor events, Project X or the Assault Course), once again, as a participant. Our job was to transfer ammunition and medicine to a place where they would be picked up by a convoy. We were doing so well that on one of the last ammo runs, I was “blown up” by a “mortar,” leaving me legless. I started rolling to the check point, a la Monty Python (which got quite the response), but it was taking too long, so the last two people standing grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to the check point, belly down. Not cool. But we completed the mission!
I was the Asst Leader for the fourth one. Four of our eight person team were "unconscious" and we had to carry them to the check point. However, as we were taking the last two, one of my team was shot in the leg, and the other developed PTSD, leaving me and a girl to get the three of them there. We did it in time, but when we said, “Mission Accomplished” he said, keep going. We racked our brains trying to figure out what we were missing. Finally the whistle blew, and he said, “The proper verbiage is ‘Mission Completed’” CHEAP!!!!!!
It was amazing. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the day. After lunch we had four hours of lectures that were enough to kill a man. And now I am doing homework. Today is the official half-way point in the program… The feeling is bittersweet.
We woke up at 0430 and formed up downstairs by 0450. We marched to our Flight Room (where our flight has all of our classes – it’s our “safe place”) for a breakfast of MREs. I took the opportunity to daven quickly – may have been a bit early, but it was the only time before Chatzos… I then had a delicious breakfast of Cheese Tortellini and Pinto Beans along with a cup of coffee. As is usually the case in the military, we rushed downstairs at 0530… just to form up and wait for 30 minutes for the buses to arrive.
We got the WELPS field, and after forming up again, we fell out to find our Flt/CC. WELPS is a leadership exercise wherein 6-8 people participate (one assigned as leader, one as asst leader, and the rest are the team), there is a timekeeper, three observers (who are taking notes on how the leader, the asst leader, and the team all operate) and safeties, whose job it is to watch for heat exhaustion and penalties. I was a participant in the first one. Using compasses we had to navigate to four check points. Each coordinate sheet had two possible coordinates, depending on how you answered a question on something we studied – get the answer right, and you were heading in the right direction (assuming you could read your compass). Get it wrong, and you were up a creek. At each successfully acquired checkpoint we were given the coordinates for the next one. Our mission was to get to the fourth checkpoint and spell out FH 11 for the incoming helicopter to find us. We were given 6 2x4s and 4 cinder blocks. Oh – and we were told that between stops 2 and 3, there would be enemy snipers and patrols, so we had to stay down. Did I forget to mention that we could step on a mine and lose our legs? All of these, of course, were simulated by the Flt/CC suddenly yelling, “BAAM! Mortar! You, you and you are incapacitated!” or “Sniper Fire! You were just hit in the leg and can’t use your left foot!”
It was amazing – shooting an azimuth with the compass, crawling through the grass to the check points… unfortunately, we didn’t fulfill the mission.
For the second one, I was an observer. My job was to watch the team’s interactions, and report during the debriefing. The team successfully negotiated that mission, carrying a garbage can of “special liquid” through the check points, and then finding a bomb and placing it carefully in to the liquid in a manner that it would not touch the sides of the garbage can, and then get it to the final check point. Well done.
I participated in the third one as well (clearly, the Major was making up for the fact that I hadn’t participated in either of the two previous outdoor events, Project X or the Assault Course), once again, as a participant. Our job was to transfer ammunition and medicine to a place where they would be picked up by a convoy. We were doing so well that on one of the last ammo runs, I was “blown up” by a “mortar,” leaving me legless. I started rolling to the check point, a la Monty Python (which got quite the response), but it was taking too long, so the last two people standing grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to the check point, belly down. Not cool. But we completed the mission!
I was the Asst Leader for the fourth one. Four of our eight person team were "unconscious" and we had to carry them to the check point. However, as we were taking the last two, one of my team was shot in the leg, and the other developed PTSD, leaving me and a girl to get the three of them there. We did it in time, but when we said, “Mission Accomplished” he said, keep going. We racked our brains trying to figure out what we were missing. Finally the whistle blew, and he said, “The proper verbiage is ‘Mission Completed’” CHEAP!!!!!!
It was amazing. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the day. After lunch we had four hours of lectures that were enough to kill a man. And now I am doing homework. Today is the official half-way point in the program… The feeling is bittersweet.
Day 16
How I love 0430. NOT.
As I wrote earlier, violating my medical profile (and excersing) is a big no-no. I found out why. Right now, I am covered for the back pain for as long as I have it. If this continued for the next 30 years, the military would pay for my care. However, if I aggravate it by doing something like, say, exercise, then they are off the hook – but you could see how messy it could get.
Anyway, I am feeling 100% better than last week… but I would still love to be able to work out at my own pace for as long as I can. On Wednesday there is a big field excercise that I do not want to miss, so I will work out in the gym today and tomorrow and have my profile cancelled after that, leaving me finally able to participate with my class again!
After my work out (80 sit ups, 40 push ups – I can’t get that those numbers up! – and a 1.5 mile run with no knee pain), I went to my room, showered, davened, and we all went to the class room for our big written test (one of two). I hate tests and I get very anxious. All in all, it was okay. I didn’t do as well as I hoped – I got an 88.6… oh, well…
The rest of the day was painfully boring. They are cramming information at us at a rediculous pace. We had six hours of lectures AFTER the test, and more of the same tomorrow. I broke down and bought some No-Doze tonight to keep myself awake.
I got my service jacket back from the tailor – the last thing I was waiting on – and “blinged” it out with all the acoutrements. Looks sharp as a tack, if I may say so myself. Pictures soon…
As I wrote earlier, violating my medical profile (and excersing) is a big no-no. I found out why. Right now, I am covered for the back pain for as long as I have it. If this continued for the next 30 years, the military would pay for my care. However, if I aggravate it by doing something like, say, exercise, then they are off the hook – but you could see how messy it could get.
Anyway, I am feeling 100% better than last week… but I would still love to be able to work out at my own pace for as long as I can. On Wednesday there is a big field excercise that I do not want to miss, so I will work out in the gym today and tomorrow and have my profile cancelled after that, leaving me finally able to participate with my class again!
After my work out (80 sit ups, 40 push ups – I can’t get that those numbers up! – and a 1.5 mile run with no knee pain), I went to my room, showered, davened, and we all went to the class room for our big written test (one of two). I hate tests and I get very anxious. All in all, it was okay. I didn’t do as well as I hoped – I got an 88.6… oh, well…
The rest of the day was painfully boring. They are cramming information at us at a rediculous pace. We had six hours of lectures AFTER the test, and more of the same tomorrow. I broke down and bought some No-Doze tonight to keep myself awake.
I got my service jacket back from the tailor – the last thing I was waiting on – and “blinged” it out with all the acoutrements. Looks sharp as a tack, if I may say so myself. Pictures soon…
Day 15
Only two more weekends left (depending on when they graduate us on Friday – I may be stuck here for the last Shabbos…). I went to the gym and after a half-hour warmup, I quickly knocked out 45 situps (total after three sets: 85) and 40 pushups (total after three sets: 70). I am now convinced that that was the problem with my back – they only give you one minute to warm up before the PT. That may be great for the 20 year olds, but not for this old body. I suppose I will just have to get up at 0400 instead of 0430 and stretch for a half hour before PT…
I got on the treadmill and ran for a mile at 6.5 MPH, and then my knee started hurting – that’s okay, I know I can do the running – I was really just testing out my back, and it felt fine.
I spent the rest of the day studying for the test tomorrow. I’ll let you know how that goes.
I got on the treadmill and ran for a mile at 6.5 MPH, and then my knee started hurting – that’s okay, I know I can do the running – I was really just testing out my back, and it felt fine.
I spent the rest of the day studying for the test tomorrow. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Day 13/14
I went back to the chiropracter for a 0700 appointment. He is leaving next week on leave, so this was my last chance at an adjustment.
I returned, and once again I had to meet my flight at another facility, this time the Project Thunder Assualt Course. It is an obstacle course from hell. I am reminded of an Arab expression: “You may forget with whom you’ve laughed but you will never forget with whom you’ve cried.” I feel that my flightmates are doing things that I am not, and that it is causing a certain detachment, a chasm that is getting harder and harder to bridge. Much of this may just be my self-pity, as I am pretty unhappy about the circumstances. I just trust that there is a reason the Good Lord has sidelined me… Oh, well.
Before lunch, we had a ceremony called “Tattoo” – I always heard of them, but never understood what body painting had to do with marching and bugles. We learned that the word "tattoo" is an alteration of Dutch taptoe "tap-shut" (closing time for taverns), based on tap "spigot, tap" + toe "shut." The Dutch bugle call summoning soldiers back to camp meant "closing time" to tavern owners. The US term "taps," the bugle call played after tattoo or at funerals, apparently stems from the same Dutch word. In our case, the tattoo was the formal transfer of authority to march unsupervised from the base commander, Lt Col Ackerman, to each squadron leader. It was very dramatic and militaristic.
In the afternoon, we had a squadron-level “pep rally” followed by a class-wide pep rally. At the first one, we were sure we would win Flight of the Week. We did win the Athletic Award (all based on my contribuitions – NOT!), but we lost the Academic Award, which is weighed higher – so we lost Flight of the Week. Unfortunately, at the class rally, our squadron lost as well on all three awards – Athletic, Academic, and Honor, all three going to the Falcons. It is amazing how I am getting caught up in the competitiveness of this!
The rest of the afternoon was studying for our first major written test, to be administered on Monday. At one point, I needed a break, so I went to the RAC to look at the Torah reading for Shabbos. As I was sitting there, a Lt Col walks in with a captain, and they are talking to some unseen person. I jumped to my feet and, following the requisite, “Good Afternoon, Sir,” I asked if he needed the room. He said, “No, I am just showing a new ROTC trainee, who is Orthodox, the facilities.” I said, “Sir, conveniently I happen to be an Orthodox Rabbi!” He calls in the young trainee and I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was a young man (I found out later he is 21) who looked MAYBE 15 years old – short, glasses, BIG black velvet Yarmulkah, a stutter… I was blown away. I stalked to the three of them for an hour, discussing the options here for food and Shabbos, etc. It turns out that he is in my building, so we agreed I would pick him up and bring him to the RAC for services tonight and Havdala tomorrow.
When I got him at 1920 to go to “shul,” he had a bag of homemade Challah rolls with him. I liked him already! Over “dinner” (tuna fish and Matza with jelly – remember, I have dinner before Shabbos begins), he told me his story. He grew up in Atlanta, and moved to Monsey in 5th grade. He learned at Yeshiva Spring Valley and Sharei Torah, and then he went to Ner Israel. He wasn’t doing too well, and then his Chavrusa left to learn in Israel after Shavuos (this was a few years ago). That summer, he was bored and was surfing the Internet when he saw an offer to get something for free if you filled out some information. It was n Army recruiter site. He was contacted by the recruiter, and when he explained all of his religious limitations, the recruiter assured him that none of those where a problem, and he should come down and speak to them. He did, and was intrigued. Long story short, he signed up for ROTC (he is in college studying computer science) which requires no commitment. If you go through the program and don’t like it – either during or after – you walk away. In any event, he explained the four year program as a bell curve, where the summer of the second year is the worst part – when the come to Maxwell for four weeks of hell. We watch these guys here, and are in awe of what they put these kids through. I have great respect for this kid. He has a heck of an attitude. At one point he told me that the one thing he worries about is a Shidduch. He can’t imagine a Jewish girl who will want the life of the wife of an Air Force officer. I assured him that anyone who is doing what he is doing probably wouldn’t be happy with the typical Bais Yaakov girl anyway – the one that will want him is the one he will want, as well.
Crazy world.
On Saturday morning, after I had breakfast and davened, I decided to test out my back. The chiropractor had suggested that I try doing 20 pushup and 20 situps and run for .5 miles, and see how that feels before I start doing PT on Monday. So I got on the floor and did 5 situps. Felt okay. I did 10 more. Then I tried 5 pushups, and then 10 more. By the end of the day I had done over 85 situps and 65 situps. I WAS BACK!!! My whole perspective changed! I was in such a good mood! We went outside to drill at 1800 and I was right in there with them, the first time since Monday…
In the middle of drilling, Major Haigh (the Flt/CC) pulled up and challanged us all to a push-up contest. I told him I was up for it, and he said, “Aren’t you still under profile?” I said I was taking myself off profile. He said, “Under whose authority? You are an asset of the US Air Force, and they have determined you are not to excerise until June 10 – if you do, I could have you brought up for a court-martial.” Hmmmm.
I went back to my room, and looked at next week’s calendar. On Wednesday (the 10th) we have another cool event that I WILL NOT MISS. I decided to work out myself in the gym on Monday and Tuesday and get my Profile canceled by Wednesday… We’ll see how that goes…
I returned, and once again I had to meet my flight at another facility, this time the Project Thunder Assualt Course. It is an obstacle course from hell. I am reminded of an Arab expression: “You may forget with whom you’ve laughed but you will never forget with whom you’ve cried.” I feel that my flightmates are doing things that I am not, and that it is causing a certain detachment, a chasm that is getting harder and harder to bridge. Much of this may just be my self-pity, as I am pretty unhappy about the circumstances. I just trust that there is a reason the Good Lord has sidelined me… Oh, well.
Before lunch, we had a ceremony called “Tattoo” – I always heard of them, but never understood what body painting had to do with marching and bugles. We learned that the word "tattoo" is an alteration of Dutch taptoe "tap-shut" (closing time for taverns), based on tap "spigot, tap" + toe "shut." The Dutch bugle call summoning soldiers back to camp meant "closing time" to tavern owners. The US term "taps," the bugle call played after tattoo or at funerals, apparently stems from the same Dutch word. In our case, the tattoo was the formal transfer of authority to march unsupervised from the base commander, Lt Col Ackerman, to each squadron leader. It was very dramatic and militaristic.
In the afternoon, we had a squadron-level “pep rally” followed by a class-wide pep rally. At the first one, we were sure we would win Flight of the Week. We did win the Athletic Award (all based on my contribuitions – NOT!), but we lost the Academic Award, which is weighed higher – so we lost Flight of the Week. Unfortunately, at the class rally, our squadron lost as well on all three awards – Athletic, Academic, and Honor, all three going to the Falcons. It is amazing how I am getting caught up in the competitiveness of this!
The rest of the afternoon was studying for our first major written test, to be administered on Monday. At one point, I needed a break, so I went to the RAC to look at the Torah reading for Shabbos. As I was sitting there, a Lt Col walks in with a captain, and they are talking to some unseen person. I jumped to my feet and, following the requisite, “Good Afternoon, Sir,” I asked if he needed the room. He said, “No, I am just showing a new ROTC trainee, who is Orthodox, the facilities.” I said, “Sir, conveniently I happen to be an Orthodox Rabbi!” He calls in the young trainee and I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was a young man (I found out later he is 21) who looked MAYBE 15 years old – short, glasses, BIG black velvet Yarmulkah, a stutter… I was blown away. I stalked to the three of them for an hour, discussing the options here for food and Shabbos, etc. It turns out that he is in my building, so we agreed I would pick him up and bring him to the RAC for services tonight and Havdala tomorrow.
When I got him at 1920 to go to “shul,” he had a bag of homemade Challah rolls with him. I liked him already! Over “dinner” (tuna fish and Matza with jelly – remember, I have dinner before Shabbos begins), he told me his story. He grew up in Atlanta, and moved to Monsey in 5th grade. He learned at Yeshiva Spring Valley and Sharei Torah, and then he went to Ner Israel. He wasn’t doing too well, and then his Chavrusa left to learn in Israel after Shavuos (this was a few years ago). That summer, he was bored and was surfing the Internet when he saw an offer to get something for free if you filled out some information. It was n Army recruiter site. He was contacted by the recruiter, and when he explained all of his religious limitations, the recruiter assured him that none of those where a problem, and he should come down and speak to them. He did, and was intrigued. Long story short, he signed up for ROTC (he is in college studying computer science) which requires no commitment. If you go through the program and don’t like it – either during or after – you walk away. In any event, he explained the four year program as a bell curve, where the summer of the second year is the worst part – when the come to Maxwell for four weeks of hell. We watch these guys here, and are in awe of what they put these kids through. I have great respect for this kid. He has a heck of an attitude. At one point he told me that the one thing he worries about is a Shidduch. He can’t imagine a Jewish girl who will want the life of the wife of an Air Force officer. I assured him that anyone who is doing what he is doing probably wouldn’t be happy with the typical Bais Yaakov girl anyway – the one that will want him is the one he will want, as well.
Crazy world.
On Saturday morning, after I had breakfast and davened, I decided to test out my back. The chiropractor had suggested that I try doing 20 pushup and 20 situps and run for .5 miles, and see how that feels before I start doing PT on Monday. So I got on the floor and did 5 situps. Felt okay. I did 10 more. Then I tried 5 pushups, and then 10 more. By the end of the day I had done over 85 situps and 65 situps. I WAS BACK!!! My whole perspective changed! I was in such a good mood! We went outside to drill at 1800 and I was right in there with them, the first time since Monday…
In the middle of drilling, Major Haigh (the Flt/CC) pulled up and challanged us all to a push-up contest. I told him I was up for it, and he said, “Aren’t you still under profile?” I said I was taking myself off profile. He said, “Under whose authority? You are an asset of the US Air Force, and they have determined you are not to excerise until June 10 – if you do, I could have you brought up for a court-martial.” Hmmmm.
I went back to my room, and looked at next week’s calendar. On Wednesday (the 10th) we have another cool event that I WILL NOT MISS. I decided to work out myself in the gym on Monday and Tuesday and get my Profile canceled by Wednesday… We’ll see how that goes…
Day 12
0430 wake up – and yes, still hurting. I went straight to the gym – no point in marching out to the pad just to have to walk back again. At 0545, I returned to my room, changed into my uniform, went to the RAC to daven Shacharis, and waited downstairs for the base taxi (they are free – sort of like a shuttle service) to take me to the doctor.
I saw a PA (Physician Assistant), who simply listened to my compliant, and then ordered some 800mg Ibuprofin and Robaxin. I said, “Any chance I could see a chiropracter?” She seemed surprised. Turns out there is one there, but first she sent me for x-rays. After the x-rays, I went to the chiroprater desk (the place is like a Doctor Mall – it’s a long beautiful atrium with desks for each specialty – awesome! The radiology office already had the order for the x-rays – and when I get to the end – the pharmacy – I just scan my DoD card and the order comes up… Wow!) and they got me in right away. The doctor looked at my x-rays (they were already in the system ready to pull up), and he did an adjustment. I IMMEDIETLY felt better.
When I got back, I had to meet my flight at the Project X facility. There is no easy way to explain this place, but I will try. The most important part of this entire course is teaching leadership, personnel management, and problem solving skills. At this facility there are about 20 bays, each with a specific challenge. Our flight was assigned four of them, and I returned in time for the last two. My particpation was limited to non-physical parts, like time-keeping and observing.
The challenges work like this. Six of the 15 flight members are chosen to be the participants, one person is timekeeper, one person is observer, and the rest are safetys. The participants are given a briefing fo what they will do, and their limitations, and then they have 20 minutes to finish. Easy, right.
The first one (their third) that I saw consisted of the following: A pool of water 4’ by 6’ ending at a wall about 6’ high. They had a 4x4 that was about 9’ long, and two long pieces of rope. The water represented a lake that was highly radioactive, and they had to get all 6 people and all the stuff (wood and ropes) across the water and over the wall in 20 minutes. Nothing could touch the wall (except for the top 6 inches) or the sides or the water, or you got an immediete 30 second penalty. It was unbelievable. They failed the mission, after which an analysis was done over what they did right and what they did wrong, etc. I am not allowed to say much more, as we were sworn to secrecy over the contents of the facility. Sorry.
We got back and went to lunch at 1200. As I shared earlier, we have to sit at a modified attention while eating. That means sitting only in the front 2/3 of the chair, back straight and feet flat on the ground. That has been hurting my back terribly, and I received a waiver from my Flt/CC. Well, as I am sitting there with my back on the chair, one of the staff members sitting at the staff table yells across the room, “Captain Friedman! (they all know me!) You are at modified attention! GET YOUR BACK OF THAT CHAIR!!” I did so, and when I was finished, I walked up to the staff table to explain. BIG mistake. The protocol, when approaching the staff table, is to greet everyone first, then ask for permission to make a statement or ask a question. When done, you say, “Will that be all, sir/ma’am?” They say, “That will be all” and you say the greeting of the day (“Good morning, sir/ma’am” or “Good evening…). If outside, you salute when saying the greeting. But it gets more confusing when you have different ranks there – for example, if there was a Major and three Captains it’s “Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.” When I went up there, I was still so fluttered from being jacked up in front everyone (“jacked up” is a BIG military expression – get used to it!). I saw a female major and a slew of male captains. I said, “Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.” He said, “Do you not see the major next to me?” She immedietly had my back, saying, “He greeted me.” I told him that I had a profile (a waiver) for my back and that sitting in that position was very painful. He said, “Let me see the profile.” I knew enough to carry it on me at all times - but I thought I had it in my pocket – and when it wasn’t there I was just getting more and more flustered. I pulled out the pouch we all wear around our necks that carry our documents and gave him the profile. He said, “It doesn’t say anything here about sitting. Have the seargent (the medic) update this.” I said that I had received permission from my Flt/CC (who outranks this bozo), to which he said, “Fine, I’ll get with him.” Following protocol, I said, “Will that be all, sir?”
“That will be all.”
“Good afternoon, sir.”
“What about the major?”
“Good afternoon, Major, good afternoon, sir.”
“What about everyone else at the table?”
“Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.”
“Captain, did you not notice the colonel sitting right next to you??” (He was sitting with his back to me, so I didn’t even notice him)
“Good afternoon, sir, good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen”
“Good afternoon”
I walked out of there sweating like a dog…
I saw a PA (Physician Assistant), who simply listened to my compliant, and then ordered some 800mg Ibuprofin and Robaxin. I said, “Any chance I could see a chiropracter?” She seemed surprised. Turns out there is one there, but first she sent me for x-rays. After the x-rays, I went to the chiroprater desk (the place is like a Doctor Mall – it’s a long beautiful atrium with desks for each specialty – awesome! The radiology office already had the order for the x-rays – and when I get to the end – the pharmacy – I just scan my DoD card and the order comes up… Wow!) and they got me in right away. The doctor looked at my x-rays (they were already in the system ready to pull up), and he did an adjustment. I IMMEDIETLY felt better.
When I got back, I had to meet my flight at the Project X facility. There is no easy way to explain this place, but I will try. The most important part of this entire course is teaching leadership, personnel management, and problem solving skills. At this facility there are about 20 bays, each with a specific challenge. Our flight was assigned four of them, and I returned in time for the last two. My particpation was limited to non-physical parts, like time-keeping and observing.
The challenges work like this. Six of the 15 flight members are chosen to be the participants, one person is timekeeper, one person is observer, and the rest are safetys. The participants are given a briefing fo what they will do, and their limitations, and then they have 20 minutes to finish. Easy, right.
The first one (their third) that I saw consisted of the following: A pool of water 4’ by 6’ ending at a wall about 6’ high. They had a 4x4 that was about 9’ long, and two long pieces of rope. The water represented a lake that was highly radioactive, and they had to get all 6 people and all the stuff (wood and ropes) across the water and over the wall in 20 minutes. Nothing could touch the wall (except for the top 6 inches) or the sides or the water, or you got an immediete 30 second penalty. It was unbelievable. They failed the mission, after which an analysis was done over what they did right and what they did wrong, etc. I am not allowed to say much more, as we were sworn to secrecy over the contents of the facility. Sorry.
We got back and went to lunch at 1200. As I shared earlier, we have to sit at a modified attention while eating. That means sitting only in the front 2/3 of the chair, back straight and feet flat on the ground. That has been hurting my back terribly, and I received a waiver from my Flt/CC. Well, as I am sitting there with my back on the chair, one of the staff members sitting at the staff table yells across the room, “Captain Friedman! (they all know me!) You are at modified attention! GET YOUR BACK OF THAT CHAIR!!” I did so, and when I was finished, I walked up to the staff table to explain. BIG mistake. The protocol, when approaching the staff table, is to greet everyone first, then ask for permission to make a statement or ask a question. When done, you say, “Will that be all, sir/ma’am?” They say, “That will be all” and you say the greeting of the day (“Good morning, sir/ma’am” or “Good evening…). If outside, you salute when saying the greeting. But it gets more confusing when you have different ranks there – for example, if there was a Major and three Captains it’s “Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.” When I went up there, I was still so fluttered from being jacked up in front everyone (“jacked up” is a BIG military expression – get used to it!). I saw a female major and a slew of male captains. I said, “Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.” He said, “Do you not see the major next to me?” She immedietly had my back, saying, “He greeted me.” I told him that I had a profile (a waiver) for my back and that sitting in that position was very painful. He said, “Let me see the profile.” I knew enough to carry it on me at all times - but I thought I had it in my pocket – and when it wasn’t there I was just getting more and more flustered. I pulled out the pouch we all wear around our necks that carry our documents and gave him the profile. He said, “It doesn’t say anything here about sitting. Have the seargent (the medic) update this.” I said that I had received permission from my Flt/CC (who outranks this bozo), to which he said, “Fine, I’ll get with him.” Following protocol, I said, “Will that be all, sir?”
“That will be all.”
“Good afternoon, sir.”
“What about the major?”
“Good afternoon, Major, good afternoon, sir.”
“What about everyone else at the table?”
“Good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen.”
“Captain, did you not notice the colonel sitting right next to you??” (He was sitting with his back to me, so I didn’t even notice him)
“Good afternoon, sir, good afternoon, ma’am, good afternoon, gentlemen”
“Good afternoon”
I walked out of there sweating like a dog…
Day 11
0430 wake up, and still hurting. Once again, I went with my flight out to the PT. However, the trainer forgot to announce that those with a waiver should fall out. So I tried stretching with everyone, only to suffer through excruciating pain. I laid down on my back to ease the pain, and as I lay there a tear rolled down my cheek. I was so sad. I did not come here to sit on the sideline. I came here to do great. I came here to prove to myself that I could do this. I came here to show my kids that it is never too late to reinvent yourself and improve yourself. I came here to make my kids proud of me. And here I am, lying on the floor incapacitated.
The instructor finally realized his mistake, and when I gave him my waiver, he sent me to the gym to do something, anything. Which I didn’t. I went to the medic and told him the Naproxen wasn’t working and that I wanted to see a doctor. We set up a time at the base Medical Group for 7:00 tomorrow.
The day was a boring day of non-stop lectures. The only good news is that my cheer is the talk of the entire class – especially the “Who’s Your Daddy? Papa Flight!” part!! Additionally, we are now offically the “Papa Smurfs!”
I just wrote a new one:
Your momma takes good care of you
Her smile is like the sun
Your grandma feeds you lots of food
Until you weigh a ton
Your grandpa takes you everywhere
He’s always so much fun
But your PAPA’s here to educate
We’ll show you how it’s done
(Flight leader): WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(Flight): PAPA FLIGHT!!!!!!
The instructor finally realized his mistake, and when I gave him my waiver, he sent me to the gym to do something, anything. Which I didn’t. I went to the medic and told him the Naproxen wasn’t working and that I wanted to see a doctor. We set up a time at the base Medical Group for 7:00 tomorrow.
The day was a boring day of non-stop lectures. The only good news is that my cheer is the talk of the entire class – especially the “Who’s Your Daddy? Papa Flight!” part!! Additionally, we are now offically the “Papa Smurfs!”
I just wrote a new one:
Your momma takes good care of you
Her smile is like the sun
Your grandma feeds you lots of food
Until you weigh a ton
Your grandpa takes you everywhere
He’s always so much fun
But your PAPA’s here to educate
We’ll show you how it’s done
(Flight leader): WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(Flight): PAPA FLIGHT!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Day 9
0430 wake up, and still hurting. Today was the first day of formal PT (Physical Training) – it alternates everyday between running and strength training. Today was the run. I went out with my flight and formed up with them. The first thing the instructor announces is for anyone with a waiver or who can’t participate to fall in behind him. I did along with a few others, and we were sent to the on-campus clinic. The Sergeant who saw me was not allowed to prescribe anything serious – I wanted a medrol dose pack of steroids, but all he gave me was some Naproxen. He said to try that along with a week-long waiver from marching and exercising, and we’ll see how it goes.
I rejoined my flight for breakfast, after which the two WORST days of COT began. This is academic cram week. Our schedule for the next two days is NINE hours of lectures each day with a one hour break for lunch. 0800 until 1800. BORING…
But Tuesday was my flight leader day. I don’t recall a more stressful day in my entire life. I have to march everyone everywhere, and there is always an officer there, correcting EVERY mistake. The more nervous and anxious and uptight I got, the more I forget the proper verbiage and the more they yell and correct you. And if you give the wrong command, you will march your entire flight into the bushes. We watched someone do it! No joke!
I also have to run the classroom. When the Flt/CC walks in, I am at the front and yell, “Flight, Tench-hut!” Not “Class”; not “Room” – those are for DIFFERENT times. And I better get it right. The Flt/CC then walks up to the front, I “left face” to him, salute, and say, “SIR, Papa Flight is ready for inspection” – not “prepared for”… Then he gets up in my grill, looks me up and down, and says, “POST” – I turn to the front in a crisp “right face”, and he checks my back. All this time, the class (shaped in a U) is facing the walls. He then goes and inspects everyone’s front. As he turns the corner back to the front – and EXACTLY BEFORE he turns the corner – I say, “One pace foreword, MARCH!” – everyone takes a pace foreword and he inspects their backs. When he’s done, he says, “Be seated”. You sit, but at attention – until he says, “At ease.”
If I get one word, we do it again. Oy. After that class, each subsequent class begins the same, but without the inspection. And all of this with a spasming back. HATED the day.
I rejoined my flight for breakfast, after which the two WORST days of COT began. This is academic cram week. Our schedule for the next two days is NINE hours of lectures each day with a one hour break for lunch. 0800 until 1800. BORING…
But Tuesday was my flight leader day. I don’t recall a more stressful day in my entire life. I have to march everyone everywhere, and there is always an officer there, correcting EVERY mistake. The more nervous and anxious and uptight I got, the more I forget the proper verbiage and the more they yell and correct you. And if you give the wrong command, you will march your entire flight into the bushes. We watched someone do it! No joke!
I also have to run the classroom. When the Flt/CC walks in, I am at the front and yell, “Flight, Tench-hut!” Not “Class”; not “Room” – those are for DIFFERENT times. And I better get it right. The Flt/CC then walks up to the front, I “left face” to him, salute, and say, “SIR, Papa Flight is ready for inspection” – not “prepared for”… Then he gets up in my grill, looks me up and down, and says, “POST” – I turn to the front in a crisp “right face”, and he checks my back. All this time, the class (shaped in a U) is facing the walls. He then goes and inspects everyone’s front. As he turns the corner back to the front – and EXACTLY BEFORE he turns the corner – I say, “One pace foreword, MARCH!” – everyone takes a pace foreword and he inspects their backs. When he’s done, he says, “Be seated”. You sit, but at attention – until he says, “At ease.”
If I get one word, we do it again. Oy. After that class, each subsequent class begins the same, but without the inspection. And all of this with a spasming back. HATED the day.
Day 8
Uh oh.
Last night I went to bed with my back hurting a little bit. I figured I needed a good night’s rest. The flight decided that the optional 5K run, to be held this morning at 0500, would be mandatory for the whole flight (it would really good to the staff). They pounded on our door at 0445, and when I moved in bed I had a piercing pain shoot up from my lower back. I got out of bed slowly and it was SO painful. But I wasn’t going to let everyone down. It turnes out there is a girl in the flight who hurt her ankle, so we decided to sit it out and be there to cheer them on. When the runners came back, Major Haigh (our flight commander) who had run with them, asked me if I would say a prayer on behalf of Memorial Day. I had ten seconds to think. I said, “This country was not purchased with money, but with the blood of the brave men and women of the US Armed Forces who made the ultimate sacrifice to secure our freedom. Lord, may we always serve as a source of pride to their names and of dignity to their memories.”
We went to breakfast, and I was pretty miserable - there was no one to go see unless I went to the emergency room in Montgomery. I tried to relax as much as I could, I started taking lots of Advil, iced it, laid on my back, etc. Nothing really helped. That was how I spent Memorial Day.
Last night I went to bed with my back hurting a little bit. I figured I needed a good night’s rest. The flight decided that the optional 5K run, to be held this morning at 0500, would be mandatory for the whole flight (it would really good to the staff). They pounded on our door at 0445, and when I moved in bed I had a piercing pain shoot up from my lower back. I got out of bed slowly and it was SO painful. But I wasn’t going to let everyone down. It turnes out there is a girl in the flight who hurt her ankle, so we decided to sit it out and be there to cheer them on. When the runners came back, Major Haigh (our flight commander) who had run with them, asked me if I would say a prayer on behalf of Memorial Day. I had ten seconds to think. I said, “This country was not purchased with money, but with the blood of the brave men and women of the US Armed Forces who made the ultimate sacrifice to secure our freedom. Lord, may we always serve as a source of pride to their names and of dignity to their memories.”
We went to breakfast, and I was pretty miserable - there was no one to go see unless I went to the emergency room in Montgomery. I tried to relax as much as I could, I started taking lots of Advil, iced it, laid on my back, etc. Nothing really helped. That was how I spent Memorial Day.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Day 7
It’s Sunday, and everyone is just totally relaxed. Well, except for the fact that someone pounded on our door at 0555, telling us that there was a screw-up and our DP (Dining Priority) was not at 0721 but 0621. We jumped up and out and marched to the DFAC (Dining Facility) only to find out that our student leadership screwed up, and in fact it was at 0721. But we were already there, so we had to stay in line for an hour. Nice.
We spent the rest of the day reading, studying and drilling, drilling, and more drilling. This week is the tattoo ceremony wherein we are give our “Driver’s License,” in essence permission to march as a flight without the supervision of out flight commander. In addition, I will be the flight leader on Monday (the one who calls all the commands and leads the flight, during instruction, to attention) and I need the practice. We spent hours marching around the practice area – it was awesome. We look TIGHT!
I also wrote our flight’s cheer. Remember, we are Papa Flight and our entire class is COT 10-04:
Pappa Smurf is old and short
Fat and cute and blue
Pappa John makes pizza pies
Delivered fresh to you
Pappa Bear left porridge that was
Way too hot to chew
(yelling)
And Pappa Flight rules 10-04
We’re Air Force, through and through
(flight leader): WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(flight): PAPA FLIGHT!
We spent the rest of the day reading, studying and drilling, drilling, and more drilling. This week is the tattoo ceremony wherein we are give our “Driver’s License,” in essence permission to march as a flight without the supervision of out flight commander. In addition, I will be the flight leader on Monday (the one who calls all the commands and leads the flight, during instruction, to attention) and I need the practice. We spent hours marching around the practice area – it was awesome. We look TIGHT!
I also wrote our flight’s cheer. Remember, we are Papa Flight and our entire class is COT 10-04:
Pappa Smurf is old and short
Fat and cute and blue
Pappa John makes pizza pies
Delivered fresh to you
Pappa Bear left porridge that was
Way too hot to chew
(yelling)
And Pappa Flight rules 10-04
We’re Air Force, through and through
(flight leader): WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(flight): PAPA FLIGHT!
Day 5/6
Today was a big day. Eligibility in the Air Force officer corps requires, among many other things, a certain level of physical fitness. While I had already passed my test in March (see the first blog entry), COT requires one at the end of the program. However, they administer one at the beginning, called a PTB (physical test baseline), with the dual goals of a) seeing who needs a LOT more work over the next 5 weeks, and b) determining a baseline from which fitness goals can be set. Unfortunately, I pretty much stopped working out after Pesach, when I got a bad bout of gout (Hey, that rhymes!). I was dreading this test! 0430 I was up and by 0445 we were downstairs formed up with our mats and flashlights, ready to march out to the track.
It began with a short warm up (more on that later). We were each paired with a member of our neighboring flight, Oscar. My partner, 2nd Lt Tate, held my legs while I did my sit ups. Unfortunately, the lack of working out showed, and I only did 35 (I had been up to 55). Then we did push ups, and once again, I fell below my previous number, doing 35 instead of 45. Then it was time to run. Each pair was made up of a faster runner and slower. Guess which one I was? My job was to cheer on and shout out the lap times to my partner. That boy was FAST. He did the 1.5 miles (six laps) in 9:40 minutes. Then it was my turn. I had never run on a track in my life. I decided to take it easy for the first few laps, to see how things would develop. Amazingly, I was barely breathing hard by the fourth lap. By the time I rounded the final turn on the sixth lap, I decided to go all out and sprint as fast as I could. I ended up finishing at 13:25, 30 seconds faster than my last official test in March. Woohoo!
The rest of the day consisted of classes, and with me running back and forth to the chaplain’s office and the Sqaudron Commander’s office, trying to make final Shabbos arrangements. It turns out there is a Conservative kid here (a JAG) who was going into Montgomery on Saturday for services, and wanted to join me on Friday night, as well.
Friday afternoon, I was given permission to go eat dinner earlier than my flight. The flight had a DP (Dining Priority) of 1821 (6:21 pm for you civilians), which meant realistically getting into the Dining Hall by 1830 and out by 1850. Shabbos was starting at 1927, and I needed to shower, shave, get my stuff together, and pick up the other guy at his dorm. I was allowed to go eat at 1800 along with my roommate (did I mention that, unless you have a waiver, you are never allowed to walk anywhere without a wingman?) and got to my room in time to get ready.
I had a spectacular Shabbos. I had a waiver to go to the RAC (religious accommodation room) without a wingman – but my roommate, the LDS (Mormon fellow) said he wanted to go with me. I got my food stuff together (remember that I had already eaten dinner, and there is no place to really prepare food there. This was more of a symbolic dinner) and we detailed to the other dorm to get the other Jewish kid, and from there to the RAC. When we got there, my roommate (2nd Lt Coombs) realized he couldn’t go home alone – so he stayed.
I expected to do a quick davening, followed by Kiddush, Hamotzi, a little something to eat, and that would be it. Well, we walk into the devotional room, take our siddurs, and this Conservative kid says, “Yedid Nefesh?” Oh, well. I figured this is why I am chaplain. I am here to take care of the spiritual needs of the airmen, and he clearly wanted to have a “Shabbat Experience.” We did a beautiful Kabbalas Shabbos, singing everything, followed by a slightly quicker Maariv. We sand Shalom Eleichem, Eishes Chayil, I projected through the ether a Bracha to my boys, made Kiddush and Hamotzi on Matza, and we feasted on tuna and Matza and NutriGrain bars. We sang Zemiros, I explained all of this to my roommate – and we ended up being there for over two hours. Awesome.
For the rest of the day, my roommate was simply unbelievable. Throughout the day, knowing that I was unable to do things like turn on or off lights or pay for my meals, he didn’t hesitate to step up—often anticipatorily—to help me out. For example, I forgot my cell phone alarm was still set for 0600. When it went off on Saturday, he jumped out of bed to turn it off, knowing I could not, and did so graciously. When a fellow flight member entered our room to get my haircut clippers, he immediately stopped what he was doing to get them from my drawer, anticipating what could have been an uncomfortable pause/discussion about why I could not get the clippers out. For the three meals during the day, he unhesitatingly paid for my meals and signed me in. There are countless such examples that occurred throughout the day. Finally, at 2015, when he could have been doing anything he wanted, he volunteered to detail with me back to the RAC
I had a relaxing Shacharis in my room, and after lunch, Coombs and I ended up having a 4 ½ hour discussion about Judaism and Mormonism. It was just fabulous. I don’t remember the last Shabbos I enjoyed so much. Havdalah brought Shabbos to an end, but the long Memorial Day weekend had just begun!
It began with a short warm up (more on that later). We were each paired with a member of our neighboring flight, Oscar. My partner, 2nd Lt Tate, held my legs while I did my sit ups. Unfortunately, the lack of working out showed, and I only did 35 (I had been up to 55). Then we did push ups, and once again, I fell below my previous number, doing 35 instead of 45. Then it was time to run. Each pair was made up of a faster runner and slower. Guess which one I was? My job was to cheer on and shout out the lap times to my partner. That boy was FAST. He did the 1.5 miles (six laps) in 9:40 minutes. Then it was my turn. I had never run on a track in my life. I decided to take it easy for the first few laps, to see how things would develop. Amazingly, I was barely breathing hard by the fourth lap. By the time I rounded the final turn on the sixth lap, I decided to go all out and sprint as fast as I could. I ended up finishing at 13:25, 30 seconds faster than my last official test in March. Woohoo!
The rest of the day consisted of classes, and with me running back and forth to the chaplain’s office and the Sqaudron Commander’s office, trying to make final Shabbos arrangements. It turns out there is a Conservative kid here (a JAG) who was going into Montgomery on Saturday for services, and wanted to join me on Friday night, as well.
Friday afternoon, I was given permission to go eat dinner earlier than my flight. The flight had a DP (Dining Priority) of 1821 (6:21 pm for you civilians), which meant realistically getting into the Dining Hall by 1830 and out by 1850. Shabbos was starting at 1927, and I needed to shower, shave, get my stuff together, and pick up the other guy at his dorm. I was allowed to go eat at 1800 along with my roommate (did I mention that, unless you have a waiver, you are never allowed to walk anywhere without a wingman?) and got to my room in time to get ready.
I had a spectacular Shabbos. I had a waiver to go to the RAC (religious accommodation room) without a wingman – but my roommate, the LDS (Mormon fellow) said he wanted to go with me. I got my food stuff together (remember that I had already eaten dinner, and there is no place to really prepare food there. This was more of a symbolic dinner) and we detailed to the other dorm to get the other Jewish kid, and from there to the RAC. When we got there, my roommate (2nd Lt Coombs) realized he couldn’t go home alone – so he stayed.
I expected to do a quick davening, followed by Kiddush, Hamotzi, a little something to eat, and that would be it. Well, we walk into the devotional room, take our siddurs, and this Conservative kid says, “Yedid Nefesh?” Oh, well. I figured this is why I am chaplain. I am here to take care of the spiritual needs of the airmen, and he clearly wanted to have a “Shabbat Experience.” We did a beautiful Kabbalas Shabbos, singing everything, followed by a slightly quicker Maariv. We sand Shalom Eleichem, Eishes Chayil, I projected through the ether a Bracha to my boys, made Kiddush and Hamotzi on Matza, and we feasted on tuna and Matza and NutriGrain bars. We sang Zemiros, I explained all of this to my roommate – and we ended up being there for over two hours. Awesome.
For the rest of the day, my roommate was simply unbelievable. Throughout the day, knowing that I was unable to do things like turn on or off lights or pay for my meals, he didn’t hesitate to step up—often anticipatorily—to help me out. For example, I forgot my cell phone alarm was still set for 0600. When it went off on Saturday, he jumped out of bed to turn it off, knowing I could not, and did so graciously. When a fellow flight member entered our room to get my haircut clippers, he immediately stopped what he was doing to get them from my drawer, anticipating what could have been an uncomfortable pause/discussion about why I could not get the clippers out. For the three meals during the day, he unhesitatingly paid for my meals and signed me in. There are countless such examples that occurred throughout the day. Finally, at 2015, when he could have been doing anything he wanted, he volunteered to detail with me back to the RAC
I had a relaxing Shacharis in my room, and after lunch, Coombs and I ended up having a 4 ½ hour discussion about Judaism and Mormonism. It was just fabulous. I don’t remember the last Shabbos I enjoyed so much. Havdalah brought Shabbos to an end, but the long Memorial Day weekend had just begun!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Day 4
Drilled again from 0500 until 0730. Went to breakfast where I was told by a captain that he was working on getting me kosher meals. After breakfast I was forming up and didn’t salute a passing captain, who turned around and tore me a new one. I learned the first lesson of military answers. Always say loudly, “SIR, NO EXCUSES.” They NEVER want to hear “I’m sorry” (they don’t care) and they certainly don’t want to hear a reason.
Today we began the serious acedemic part of the program. We were given thousands of pages of reading material and told that we would be taught in the next 4+ weeks what they normaly teach ROTC and BOT (Basic Officer Training) in 3-6 months. We would be “drinking from a fire house,” as our Flight Commander (Flt/CC) Major Haigh likes to say.
I went to speak to the chaplain assigned to COT to discuss my issues – kosher, Shabbos, access to the RAC to daven, etc. Wonderful man.
Ate dinner, did homework, and began worrying about the PT benchmark test tomorrow…
Today we began the serious acedemic part of the program. We were given thousands of pages of reading material and told that we would be taught in the next 4+ weeks what they normaly teach ROTC and BOT (Basic Officer Training) in 3-6 months. We would be “drinking from a fire house,” as our Flight Commander (Flt/CC) Major Haigh likes to say.
I went to speak to the chaplain assigned to COT to discuss my issues – kosher, Shabbos, access to the RAC to daven, etc. Wonderful man.
Ate dinner, did homework, and began worrying about the PT benchmark test tomorrow…
My desk, with my government-issued laptop and my personal commissary.
My bed (no one uses the top - it's just two to a room with two bunk beds...)
BOT cadets standing in formation.
BOT cadets marching in formation. We look sort of like that, but not as crisp yet, and not in our service uniforms (we wear ABUs, or fatigues).
Day 3
My new official wake up time is 0430. Yeah. We were in the hallway and ready to fall in at 0450 and went downstairs where we were met by a screaming drill instructor, wanting to know why we were dragging. We began learning the first elements of drilling. Drilling is the process of marching by which you efficiently move large numbers of people from one place to another. It is not NEARLY as easy as it looks! And it’s that much harder at 0515! We drilled for an hour and a half, and then went to breakfast. Meals are done – the first week, at least – in what’s called tight meals. That means that after you get your tray, there is a very specific way you have to file to the table. At the table, there are positions 1, 2, 3 and 4. You stand at attention until 4 says, “Be seated.” 2 and 3 pass a napkin to 1 and 4, everyone waits until everyone has had a chance to say a prayer, then 4 says, “Enjoy your meal.” Then you can eat. But you cannot talk. Or look around. You can only sit on the front 2/3 of the chair, with your feet flat in the ground and your elbows off the table. Then the race begins. The first two to finish get up and leave, and the last two have to collect the dirty plates and trays and carry them to the tray carriers. Very relaxing.
I have discovered that the yogurt here is kosher, as are the pre-packaged cereals. They also have fruit and NutriGrain bars, so I’m golden. Lunch and dinner are tuna (which I bring), yogurt, fruit, NutriGrain bars, and an occasional treat of an ice cream cone. How long is this program, again? Oh, did I mention that everyone MUST drink three glasses of water at every meal?
We went to the auditorium and were addressed by the lead Phys Ed (PT) instructor. He explaied what would be expected of us on Friday when we do our benchmark physical test (push-ups, sit ups, and 1.5 mile run). We then had a class in Customs and Courtesies (saluting, etc.) followed by a class in uniforms. I knew I had 10 minutes until the next activity, so I rushed up to the RAC and davened real fast, making it down just in time for us to march out for more drilling lesson, this time Directional Turning.
Following lunch, we all returned to the auditorium, where we were to meet our flight commanders. A word about the structure will be helpful. All of us are a class (Class 10-04). The class is divided into three squadrons (Falcons, Guardians, and Griffins). The squadrons are broken into flights, made up of 15-16 students. They are named by the alphabet, so the entire Class is made up of 19 flights, Alpha through Sierra. I am in Griffin squadron(YES! Gryffindor!! The Sorting Hat rules!!!!) and in Papa flight. Each flight has a Flight Commander (Flt/CC), who is an officer and a member of the staff. Yeah, the staff that has been screaming at us since we got here. They teach their flight all of their small classes (as opposed to the large auditorium classes) and he is their “den father,” in essence.
The program commander invited all of the Flt/CCs to come up front, and after introducing each one and their accomplishments, he announced, “Commanders, meet your flights” at which point they all JUMPED forward screaming, “Grab your things, Get up, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” We were FREAKING OUT! In the midst of all this, a major walks through the madness and calmly and quietly says, “As you were – wait until all of these people leave.” No screaming, no yelling. What was going on?
When the auditorium emptied, he told us to follow him, and we walked upstairs to our flight room (our class room), which happened to be around the corner from the RAC where I daven each morning. When we got in, he asked us, “What is the difference between me and everyone else you saw down there?” We all said he wasn’t screaming and yelling. He explained that while he respects his colleagues, he disagrees with their approuch. He believes that this is primarily an academic program, and you don’t learn when you are scared. Rather, he wants us to do the right thing and perfrom out of a sense of pride and respect rather than fear. I literally thanked God.
We then divided out the jobs for the flight. The main person is the FOIC (flight officer in charge) – he is the flight’s president, in essence. I am one of the only two captains, but I am not eligible because chaplains are not allowed any leadership roles. We are advisors, not leaders. Additionally, we have education officers, saftey officers, drill officers, social officers… you get the idea. I am the Standardization Officer. Everything we do here has to look exactly the same. The books on our desks must be EXACTELY the same. Even the pens must be in the same place, and all facing the same direction. When we march with our flashlights on our hydration packs, they must face the same direction. It is my job to ensure that everything we do is exactly uniform.
After dinner, we went back to the dorm. From this point forward, once we leave our dorms in the morning, we are not allowed back until after dinner. We had a flight meeting, and I was asleep by 2330.
I have discovered that the yogurt here is kosher, as are the pre-packaged cereals. They also have fruit and NutriGrain bars, so I’m golden. Lunch and dinner are tuna (which I bring), yogurt, fruit, NutriGrain bars, and an occasional treat of an ice cream cone. How long is this program, again? Oh, did I mention that everyone MUST drink three glasses of water at every meal?
We went to the auditorium and were addressed by the lead Phys Ed (PT) instructor. He explaied what would be expected of us on Friday when we do our benchmark physical test (push-ups, sit ups, and 1.5 mile run). We then had a class in Customs and Courtesies (saluting, etc.) followed by a class in uniforms. I knew I had 10 minutes until the next activity, so I rushed up to the RAC and davened real fast, making it down just in time for us to march out for more drilling lesson, this time Directional Turning.
Following lunch, we all returned to the auditorium, where we were to meet our flight commanders. A word about the structure will be helpful. All of us are a class (Class 10-04). The class is divided into three squadrons (Falcons, Guardians, and Griffins). The squadrons are broken into flights, made up of 15-16 students. They are named by the alphabet, so the entire Class is made up of 19 flights, Alpha through Sierra. I am in Griffin squadron(YES! Gryffindor!! The Sorting Hat rules!!!!) and in Papa flight. Each flight has a Flight Commander (Flt/CC), who is an officer and a member of the staff. Yeah, the staff that has been screaming at us since we got here. They teach their flight all of their small classes (as opposed to the large auditorium classes) and he is their “den father,” in essence.
The program commander invited all of the Flt/CCs to come up front, and after introducing each one and their accomplishments, he announced, “Commanders, meet your flights” at which point they all JUMPED forward screaming, “Grab your things, Get up, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” We were FREAKING OUT! In the midst of all this, a major walks through the madness and calmly and quietly says, “As you were – wait until all of these people leave.” No screaming, no yelling. What was going on?
When the auditorium emptied, he told us to follow him, and we walked upstairs to our flight room (our class room), which happened to be around the corner from the RAC where I daven each morning. When we got in, he asked us, “What is the difference between me and everyone else you saw down there?” We all said he wasn’t screaming and yelling. He explained that while he respects his colleagues, he disagrees with their approuch. He believes that this is primarily an academic program, and you don’t learn when you are scared. Rather, he wants us to do the right thing and perfrom out of a sense of pride and respect rather than fear. I literally thanked God.
We then divided out the jobs for the flight. The main person is the FOIC (flight officer in charge) – he is the flight’s president, in essence. I am one of the only two captains, but I am not eligible because chaplains are not allowed any leadership roles. We are advisors, not leaders. Additionally, we have education officers, saftey officers, drill officers, social officers… you get the idea. I am the Standardization Officer. Everything we do here has to look exactly the same. The books on our desks must be EXACTELY the same. Even the pens must be in the same place, and all facing the same direction. When we march with our flashlights on our hydration packs, they must face the same direction. It is my job to ensure that everything we do is exactly uniform.
After dinner, we went back to the dorm. From this point forward, once we leave our dorms in the morning, we are not allowed back until after dinner. We had a flight meeting, and I was asleep by 2330.
Day 2
[Merciless pounding on the door] “WAKE UP!! YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO BE OUT IN THIS HALLWAY!!!!” That was what greeted me at 0430. For those readers with a Yeshiva background, think of the Vecker from HELL!! I jumped out of bed, threw on my clothes, washed my hands, and stood in the hallway… while I wasn’t the first one out, at least I wasn’t the last. We were allowed to come back inside to brush our teeth, shave and grab all of our important documents… did I say we were given four minutes? We stood at attention in the hallway for another five minutes waiting for stragglers, and then were marched on to the parade ground. We all stood in front of the reviewing stand, where Lt Col Ackerman (Jewish??), the commander of COT, addressed us. At the end of his words, a blue line of lights appeared at our feet and we told to step across it, symbolizing our stepping “into the Blue,” into the world of the Air Force. We filed into the bleachers, where we were given a boxed breakfast - and almost all of it was kosher! NutriGrain bar, box of cereal (Rasin Bran Crunch, thank you very much), an apple, milk, orange juice… biggest breakfast I’ve had in a year! Then we lined up to pick up our MRE’s for lunch (we would not be dining in the DFAC), which is when I discovered they had no Kosher MRE. More on that later.
The rest of the afternoon was my first lesson in the great military tradition of “Hurry up and wait.” We went to have our blood drawn, filled out emergency survivor forms (who gets the insurance and my body should I die. Good morning to you, too!) and then… unrinalysis. I stood in line for over two hours (reading the study manual, of course - See Day One) to get my bottle. Then, I had to be escorted into the rest room where an officer had to watch me do my “bidness” into the jar. That’s right, he actually said, “Angle towards me so I can see what you are doing.” Dude! You can’t use your imagination?? It was 1045 when I was done, and I finally got the courage to ask someone if I could do my morning prayer services. They immediately got me over to the chaplain’s office, and we had a wonderful chat. I was allowed to go back to my room and get my Teffilin, and I brought them to the private “devotional” room (RAC – Religious Accomodation Center). It was great! They had a “Jewish” box, with ArtScroll siddurs and Chumashim, kiddush cups, havdalah sets – they even had a pair of REALLY nice Tefillin!
The rest of the afternoon was my first lesson in the great military tradition of “Hurry up and wait.” We went to have our blood drawn, filled out emergency survivor forms (who gets the insurance and my body should I die. Good morning to you, too!) and then… unrinalysis. I stood in line for over two hours (reading the study manual, of course - See Day One) to get my bottle. Then, I had to be escorted into the rest room where an officer had to watch me do my “bidness” into the jar. That’s right, he actually said, “Angle towards me so I can see what you are doing.” Dude! You can’t use your imagination?? It was 1045 when I was done, and I finally got the courage to ask someone if I could do my morning prayer services. They immediately got me over to the chaplain’s office, and we had a wonderful chat. I was allowed to go back to my room and get my Teffilin, and I brought them to the private “devotional” room (RAC – Religious Accomodation Center). It was great! They had a “Jewish” box, with ArtScroll siddurs and Chumashim, kiddush cups, havdalah sets – they even had a pair of REALLY nice Tefillin!
Day 1
Someone told me that I would be yelled at the minute I parked my car; I thought they were joking. NOT! After driving for 5.5 hours, I pulled into Maxwell Air Force Base in Motgomery AL at 3:00 PM – where it was 95 degrees Fahrenheit in MAY. I saw the signs for COT in-processing and followed them, and when I drove around the bend I saw people already lined up in formation. I parked in the first spot I saw (turned out to be a staff person’s space) and hustled to the staging area. The first guy I saw – a big dude with a high-and-tight haircut, sunglasses and a drill hat (yeah, the kind you see in the movies) – yelled at me, “SIR – do you have any luggage?” I responded, “Yes, sir.” He yelled back, “Do you want me to get it for you, or should I send a servant? Get your things, leave them on the picnic table, and get in line!” I ran back to my car, grabbed my backback, dragged my wheeled duffel bag abd wheeled suitcase down the sidewalk… which abrubtly ended, leaving me to drag these two kosher food-laden bags across the gravel until I got to the tables. By the time I got in line, I was sweating like a glass of iced tea in Memphis. Which sounds really good right about now.
We were taken inside into a pseudo-air conditioned room for stage one of in-processing. I stood at attention for an hour and a half. No joke. When it was finally my turn, I had to go through stations: checking in, getting our keys and access codes, paying for our MRE’s (meals, ready to eat) for when we are out in field, etc. At each station we were yelled at regarding how we addressed the staff people, what we answered, what we were wearing. I was weighted (four pounds heavier than my scale said that very morning – who knew my wallet and clothes weighed that much?) and my height was measured (I seemed to have grown an inch!) and my waist was measured, as well (I seemed to have gained an inch there, as well. At least I’m consistent). All of this was done with interminable waits, all at attantion, and constantly being yelled at.
We were finally allowed to bring our luggage to our rooms and unpack. I have a wonderful roommate, a 24 year old Latter Day Saints member and soon-to-be doctor named 2d Lt Bryce Coombs. I am rooming with a guy my son’s age! The rooms are nice enough; think Motel 6. After unpacking we had to report to the D-FAC (Dining Facility) for dinner. That’s where my first in-your face dress-down occurred. The COT website clearly stated to bring $40 in cash to pay for meals the first week. However, they took that $40 to pay for MRE’s (see above). When we were in-processing, they told us we needed $50, not $40 – but there is no ATM on the immediete campus, so I didn’t get any more money. As a result, when we got in the chow line, I just walked through with an empty tray. An officer swaw me and started yelling at me that I have to eat. I tried to evade by explaining that that my diet doesn’t allow me to eat this food. He called my bluff and said, “You mean you can’t eat anything here? Are the apples and oranges not kosher?” I had to confess that I had no money. “And when did you discover that you had no money?” “Sir, during in processing” (Unlike the movies, every sentence – EVERY sentence – MUST begin with the word “Sir” – except for, “Yes, sir” or “No, sir”. It’s “Sir, thank you,” not “Thank you, sir.” And they WILL call you out EACH time you screw up). “And did you tell anyone that you didn’t have any money so we could have addressed the problem?”
“No, sir.” All of this within earshot of the State of Mississippi. You get the idea. I sat in the mess hall drinking a protein drink that I snagged on the way out of my room. Boy, did I look like an idiot.
We were dismissed early, and I went back to my room to study (we have to carry a rules manual around all the time, and during any “at-ease” while waiting in line you BETTER have it in your hands studying, or a passing officer will stop and quiz you). I took the opportunity to finally eat a can of tuna… I showered, changed and went to sleep…
We were taken inside into a pseudo-air conditioned room for stage one of in-processing. I stood at attention for an hour and a half. No joke. When it was finally my turn, I had to go through stations: checking in, getting our keys and access codes, paying for our MRE’s (meals, ready to eat) for when we are out in field, etc. At each station we were yelled at regarding how we addressed the staff people, what we answered, what we were wearing. I was weighted (four pounds heavier than my scale said that very morning – who knew my wallet and clothes weighed that much?) and my height was measured (I seemed to have grown an inch!) and my waist was measured, as well (I seemed to have gained an inch there, as well. At least I’m consistent). All of this was done with interminable waits, all at attantion, and constantly being yelled at.
We were finally allowed to bring our luggage to our rooms and unpack. I have a wonderful roommate, a 24 year old Latter Day Saints member and soon-to-be doctor named 2d Lt Bryce Coombs. I am rooming with a guy my son’s age! The rooms are nice enough; think Motel 6. After unpacking we had to report to the D-FAC (Dining Facility) for dinner. That’s where my first in-your face dress-down occurred. The COT website clearly stated to bring $40 in cash to pay for meals the first week. However, they took that $40 to pay for MRE’s (see above). When we were in-processing, they told us we needed $50, not $40 – but there is no ATM on the immediete campus, so I didn’t get any more money. As a result, when we got in the chow line, I just walked through with an empty tray. An officer swaw me and started yelling at me that I have to eat. I tried to evade by explaining that that my diet doesn’t allow me to eat this food. He called my bluff and said, “You mean you can’t eat anything here? Are the apples and oranges not kosher?” I had to confess that I had no money. “And when did you discover that you had no money?” “Sir, during in processing” (Unlike the movies, every sentence – EVERY sentence – MUST begin with the word “Sir” – except for, “Yes, sir” or “No, sir”. It’s “Sir, thank you,” not “Thank you, sir.” And they WILL call you out EACH time you screw up). “And did you tell anyone that you didn’t have any money so we could have addressed the problem?”
“No, sir.” All of this within earshot of the State of Mississippi. You get the idea. I sat in the mess hall drinking a protein drink that I snagged on the way out of my room. Boy, did I look like an idiot.
We were dismissed early, and I went back to my room to study (we have to carry a rules manual around all the time, and during any “at-ease” while waiting in line you BETTER have it in your hands studying, or a passing officer will stop and quiz you). I took the opportunity to finally eat a can of tuna… I showered, changed and went to sleep…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)